The Fly N Buy Racer

The Fly N Buy Racer, a photo by hbmike2000 on Flickr.

The sun streamed through the windows at the top of the old wherehouse and fell upon a sight to behold. A jewel found discarded in the Mojave Desert sitting majestically on a rack above my head. I tried to gaze upon it but I'm old and my glasses were dirty. I spotted some boxes below and began to climb. I heard rumors it was a discarded jet tank turned into a racer. I had to see for myself.

I climbed for hours and when I came to the top of the five foot mountain of boxes my gaze ran across it's beauty.

As I ran my hand over the metal surface a voice from my foot shouted up at me, Sir! Get OFF the merchandise or I'll have you escorted out!

Panicked and not wanting to meet the Disney Police again, I looked around for a quick exit but all I saw was the drivers seat of this wonderful Rocket Car. I hopped in and madly searched for the starter. Nothing. Tried hot wiring it. Got shocked but no movement. I rocked back and forth hoping to get momentum to atleast roll down a hill. The Racer moved slightly. I rocked harder and it began to roll.

Forward I went!

After half a foot the car went off the edge of the rack and dropped to the floor, nose first with an echoey metallic clunk. I flew out of the seat and hit the ground, nose first with an echoey 'ooof' sound.

I lay there with my face in the ground and I could feel the presence of the Disney Police around me. I heard the voice from my foot again, "I think he's handicap." With my face still pressed into the ground I replied, "I'mf ovf pewficky found minf, fank fou fervy muff"

And that would be the part where the Disney Police tossed me over the fence and onto a bus headed for Utah.

View on black or I'll run you over with the Rocket Car! (if you could just please stand still at the bottom of the hill, it would be much appreciated)

HSS