So Shall my hair fall.
View on black and some one get me some glue to put my hair back please
Our Daily Challenge: The End
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The Christmas candle holder hung from the fence patiently, waiting. It has been four years since he was gently placed here and left. On cold winter nights, a candle was placed inside, it's flame, warm and inviting.
Not THIS year Buddy! There is a big ole spider in you and I ain't touching you with a ten foot pole!
View on black or I'll tell the spider where you live
Our Daily Challenge: Fence (and it's coming down in January ... or atleast the rest of it is, some has come down already)
With a stretch and a yawn, Jose sits in his perch at the end of a long day at work. With a cigar in one hand and a glass of Tequila in the other, he runs through the song for tomorrows show.
In ... the ... tiki tiki tiki tiki room,
In the tiki tiki tiki tiki room.
(Disney is magic, whenever a Disney character is photographed smoking or drinking, the drink and cigarette magically dissappear which is why you don't see them in this photo)
View on black. You are looking up at the "end" of a bird and I would suggest wearing goggles, closing your mouth or get out of the way
Our Daily Topic: The End
Monday, November 28, 2011
I went out and hired me a Robot Butler. He sat on my couch all day eating bon bons and watching Jerry Springer. When I told him the windows were dirty, he replied, I don't do windows. Fine I said, laundry needs to be done. Don't do laundry either he says. Atleast vaccum the carpet. Nope he snaps. Dishes? Nope. Take out the trash? Nope. Pick up? Nope nope nope. What do you do??? I holler. I cleaned out your refrigerator earlier, he says.
He did too. I have no food left.
View on black then come over and clean my house while the robot and I sit on the couch eating bon bons and watch Jerry Springer.
Our Daily Challenge: Begins With R
She's mighty mighty, Lettin it all hang out. She's a brick, Houuuuse ...yeah yeah, thanks, it will take weeks to get this song out of my head now.
View on black or I'll knock the song out of your head with a brick.
Our Daily Challenge: Bricks
Sunday, November 27, 2011
When she says take out the trash, I suggest you take out the trash. Wash her car while your out there too.
View on black or sleep with one eye open
Friday, November 25, 2011
Now that I think about it, I may have belched instead of yawned. Not sure.
View on black or it's definitly a belch
Our Daily Topic: Favorite Part Of The Day
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A long time ago on a special day, war broke out. Color and Joy were over taken by the cold and dreary Grays. Color and Joy knew something had to be done but what, they did not know. Far on the horizon, a hero awoke from a loud and horrendous roar emanating from his nose. Thus began the final battle of the Color and Joys against the Grays on that day of Good N Plenty.
The only color came as rays of warm sun flowed around the wooden slats and rippled across the bed to form a pool of pure comfort in a drab and colorless morning. In the pool the hairy heathen lie, blissfully enjoying his quiet as I floated across the green grass of carpet to be by his side. I hovered over my flea laden co-conspirator of past as his eyes slowly opened to reveal two trusting windows reflecting my own soul. Without words, we each knew it was time to breath new color into the steel gray life that hung around the morning air. With a nod from each of us, I slid off to the edge of my kingdom to take a peek across the vast desert of my journey to the metal dragons den. I spied three of the enemy Grays, sitting, staring at a box of light between me and my destination, their king lying motionless beside them. With a glance back to my hairy heathen friend, I let him know with an evil grin of my imminent return, then headed out.
Ghost like, I slid through the enemy, eyes down, passing each unnoticed. I made it across the lifeless landscape to the place that held the metal dragon called Amana easily but I feared the return would not be as kind. Numerous doors leading to nowhere confused my mind as I searched for my treasure fruitlessly. Perplexed, I sat and thought. My eyes drifted over to Amana, sleeping now but soon would be awake. My eyes grew brighter as my sight fell upon its glass belly. There in the depths of its bowels, the treasure I sought. With feet of air I crept to the metal dragon and delicately pried the beasts belly open to retrieve my prize, the Container of Joy, bruised black and blue and worn down from years of use.
With treasure in hand there was but one task left before my stealthy return, slay the metal dragon. I reached to my side and unsheathed my rusty wrench, silently crawling across the back of the dragon to the one spot that would kill it. I slowly raised my rusty wrench above my head then thrust down with all my strength, connecting to the one spot that would extinguish the fires from hell. With a quick, precise turn, the dragon laid lifeless, unable to harm anyone again.
Treasure secured and dragon dead, I prepared myself for the journey back to my domain where my hairy heathen friend waited. I shimmied across the bottoms of huge eight foot cliffs and hid in the shadows of soft plushy rocks. Across the desert I flew for what seemed like weeks but was mere seconds of my life lost to the trek.
Upon my arrival, my hairy heathen friend smiled. I saw in his face the trust I needed to win the war against the Grays. I lifted my friend into the air and carefully placed him into the Container of Joy. Time was of importance, the King of Grays was soon to be at the den of the metal dragon Amana. I hoisted the container with my friend inside and journeyed back to Amana's den.
With my friend inside, I placed the Container of Joy into the metal dragon's stomach. With one last look, I checked to see if he was alright and his expression back told me all was well, then I sealed him closed inside the belly of the metal dragon.
Quickly and effortlessly, I donned my disguise; lips turned down, back hunched and bags under my eyes and hid among the Grays. Their King moaned, rustled and rolled over, awake. He stood, scratched his humongous butt and cackled if there was any mud water. I pointed towards Amana's Den and declared the dragon might have some hidden in its belly. With one last scratch and a blast of air, he was off. I could hear him search the numerous doors leading to nowhere, then silence. A yelp of surprise, followed by four lettered words flew from Amana's Den. The Grays flew up to see what the matter was with their king, I followed. The king sat on a tiny throne across from Amana, its belly gaping open. My hairy heathen friend was sitting on the surprised king's lap, smiling, inappropriately licking himself. Soon, the Grays caught onto what had happened. Their mouths started to turn up, their eyes lighting up. Color and Joy soon began to spread, filling Amana's den then spreading across the great desert, filling the world with smiles and laughter.
True story about four roomates who couldn't be with their families on Thanksgiving. And yes, I had cat that would let me put him in a turkey pan. His name was Orkin.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Even If It's For The Birds, I'm Thankful To Have A Place To Live, a photo by hbmike2000 on Flickr.
More people are homeless today then yesterday. When do we get to stop saying that.
Instead of viewing on black, sometime this week do something for someone in need
Our Daily Challenge: I'm Thankful For...
The little gargoyle sat in the corner of the negleted garden. He waited, up all night, for Sherilyn (JustaMonster) to come and play. When she finally came out, bleary eyed and with bed head, she stumbled past him. Psst, Sherilyn, he said. She glanced down out him, her eyes opening wide. Wanna play tag, he asked. She screamed in a high pitched girly voice shattering windows for miles around. With her hair standing straight up on her head she ran in circles, hands waving above her head. AAAHHHHHHH, she said as she spotted the front door and made a bee line for it.
She probably should of opened it before attempting to go in for she hit it and with a thud sprawled on the ground, out cold.
View on black or be negleted on the corner of the garden.
Our Daily Challenge: Abandoned
And check out JustaMonsters photos, they're pretty cool
It's the least I could do after having her knocked out cold. :)
I took this shot right after I whispered in his here, "are you aware your fly has been open all day?"
View on black. I'd check your fly all day long if you don't
Our Daily Challenge: Multicolor (I think I got most of them in here)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Do You Know How Hard It Is To Steal A Towel From This Place?, a photo by hbmike2000 on Flickr.
Packing to go home, I turned to my other half and said, go get me a towel, I want a souvinier. With my spouse sitting on the bulging over packed suitcase I snapped the lock. As we exited the room into the hallway, this spook appeared out of nowhere. Security, it said floating in front of me, give back the towel. I screamed and ran. With the Ghost Security hot on my tail and underwear flying out of my suitcase that broke open, I flew to the elevator. I pushed the down button repeatedly in a panic. The doors closed, the elevator dropped, I screamed and the ghost security appeared again. He grabbed my stolen towel, snapped me in the butt and said, Thank you, hope you had a great stay.
View on black or get snapped in the butt by a Towel carrying Security Ghost
Friday, November 18, 2011
The Flying Saucers Are Coming, The Flying Saucers Are Coming!, a photo by hbmike2000 on Flickr.
On a rare trip to Disneyland today (stop rolling your eyes) I saw this UFO come down out of the happiest sky on earth and land smack dab in the middle of Disneyland! (stop rolling your eyes). By the time I got home, Men In Black (actually, they had light blue shirts and dark blue golfing pants on and wing tip shoes) were waiting at my door for me. (stop rolling your eyes). I said, Men In Black, what you want from me?! They said, we would like you to stop going to disneyland everyday and running around tomorrowland waving your hands in the air screaming in that high pitched voice of yours about aliens are coming.
How rude! My voice is NOT high pitched! (stop rolling your eyes)
View on black or I will send the aliens after you.
Our Daily Challenge: Fake
I can not believe Santa has put a restraining order against me. It's not like I changed Rudolph's feed with Laxatives. Fine, I did. Just don't look up on Christmas Eve. And nobody snitch on me. I am already on the very very very very very very very naughty list
View on black. What's in YOUR food??
Our Daily Topic: Fake
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thank you for your letter and sorry for not getting back to you sooner. As you know, I recieve Millions of letters (and I have to say, usually from children) and sometimes it takes a bit to get to them all.
First of all, I would like to say regarding the cookies and milk, I could care less. You bought those at a 99 cent store two years ago and I wouldn't have touched them with a ten foot pool.
Second, it took weeks to get the fly paper off the reindeer and it took most of there hair with it. As far as little Timmy, he didn't hide his candy from you. YOU already stole it and he had none left.
Thirdly, WHO in there right MIND would stoke a fire with GASOLINE! Fortunatlely, I didn't get hurt, UNFORTUNATELY, little Timmy next door is traumatized for life!!! How would you feel if you got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and found a fat, naked, hairless man yelling HO HO HO standing in your living room.
In closing, I filed a restraining order against you and the best I can do for you this year is to tie some underwear to a rock, chuck it through your window and hope it hits you in the head. And if you even come close to me or the reindeer, I WILL see you in court and sue the underwear I just gave you right off your old wrinkly butt!
View on Black or I will write a letter to Santa under YOUR name
Our Daily Topic: Pastel
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Trying to convince me that he led the Wild Life, he took a sip of Duff Beer, belched, passed out and face planted into the gutter. I said, "you win", took his picture and posted it on the internet for the world to see. All ten of you.
PS. Considering it's really a T-Shirt, he's going to have some serious cotton mouth when he wakes up.
View on black. BBUUUURRRPPPPP! (pardon me)
Our Daily Challenge: Wild Life (because it's so glamorous)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
If you poop on the floor then I'm gonna spray you with the water bottle! Bad Giant Squid, BAD!
And for crying out loud, stop giving me those puppy dog eyes!
View on black to remove the stain
Our Daily Challenge: Liquid
5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Ready or not, here I come! And the first tree I looked behind, I found Monstero and the sore looser jumped out and ate me! And he wonders why he is always picked last for teams.
View on black or be swallowed
Our Daily Topic: Liquid
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Running across the lawn in a panic, the little creature zigged right then zagged left, his little ruffles on his neck bouncing up and down. Skidding to a stop, he took a deep breath and thought to himself, how could I be late again and again. And that was when he had a moment ot clarity.
Looking down upon his stone faced watch, the White Rabbit makes his best "oooohhhhh" face as he comes to the realization there are NO batteries in it.
View on black or I will remove your batteries
Our Daily Topic: Zig Zag
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Mr. Bone Daddy went to Tony Roma's for dinner. When he saw the special was Ribs, he got so mad he lost his body!
View on Black or he may come out of your closet
Our Daily Challenge: Soft Light
After going on the Jenny Craig diet and losing ALL her weight, Mrs Bone Daddy thought she would treat herself to a day of pampering, so she grabbed all of Mr Bone Daddy's credit cards and off to Rodeo Dr she went. Bad Mrs Bone Daddy, Bad.
View on Black or Mrs Bone Daddy will be asking "Whats in YOUR wallet"
100 Pictures: Sepia