Sunday, December 30, 2012

My New Bathroom Sign

I think I will print this out and hang above the bathroom door ... when I get a bathroom that is. We found a couple of places, two we really love but we seem to be a day late on getting them. We bid on them anyway as backups just in case they fall back on the market.

View on Black or I will hang this photo above YOUR bathroom door

What A Trip

Living at the beach or within one mile of it for over two decades had me spoiled. When I ran out of the house to drive the 55 miles to work and found my car covered with ice, I was a tad bit surprised. And late, it took me 20 minutes to get the ice of the windshield. I have to admit though, I was real close to sticking my tongue on it to see if it really sticks.

View on black or I'll drive through your neighborhood with iced up windows

Our Daily Challenge: What A Trip

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Shot The Sheriff

Well, not exactly shot. I used a flame thrower. The Sheriff's a rooster and when I don't get to bed till midnight the last thing I want to hear is him cahoodling at the crack of dawn. Anyway, he taste like chicken too and made some mighty good soup.

PS. I didn't shoot the Deputy

View on black. I still have gas in my flame thrower.

for Our Daily Challenge: Sleep ( it's a stretch, I know)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Found Freakin Frosty

Apparently he has been on the lamb from Santa and is hiding out across the street from my new temporary home. I got it on good authority (Rudolph) that Frosty had an affair with Mrs Santa and that Mr Santa is out to sleigh him.

View on black or I'll chuck ice cubes at you I've been secretly chiseling from his butt.

for Bokeh Thursday

When Lightning Strikes

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Dear Santa, The Restraining Order Has Expired

Dear Santa,

The restraining order you put against me has expired. I would like to extend my apologies and let bygones be bygones. On looking back, I realize that I shouldn't have baked cookies with laxitives for you or left the glass of milk out for a week. I have to admit, I still chuckle a little about the mess you made at Little Timmy's house next door though. And I have removed all sticky tape from the roof so the reindeer are safe and wont have their hair ripped off this year. I also have come to the conclusion that hooking the fireplace up to a flame thrower was just a bad idea all around but in my defense, it was cold.

In conclusion, I forgive you Santa for the rock wrapped in underwear that you chucked at me last Christmas Eve and I expect lots of big things from you this year. And then on the 26th of December you can have Mrs Santa Clause back.

Please don't be late, she eats a lot and it's getting expensive. Plus, she's not really that jolly at all.

View on black or may you cookies be filled with laxitives

Cliche Saturday

Friday, November 30, 2012

Which Side Will You Choose

On the fence, the Little Green Man couldn't make up his mind. On the one hand, he wanted to fight the bad guys and rid the galaxy of evil. On the other hand, the bad guys had free candy.

He knew which choice had to made. He had to do the right thing. He walked over to Master Stitch Yoda, pulled out a tiny hammer, popped a bubble from his chewing gum, bopped Master Stitch Yoda in the toe with the hammer and said, "Girlfriend, you goin down!"

View on black or Girlfriend, you goin down!

Fenced Friday

Which Side Will You Choose

On the fence, the Little Green Man couldn't make up his mind. On the one hand, he wanted to fight the bad guys and rid the galaxy of evil. On the other hand, the bad guys had free candy.

He knew which choice had to made. He had to do the right thing. He walked over to Master Stitch Yoda, pulled out a tiny hammer, popped a bubble from his chewing gum, bopped Master Stitch Yoda in the toe with the hammer and said, "Girlfriend, you goin down!"

View on black or Girlfriend, you goin down!

Fenced Friday

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Cheating, Goofy Darth Vader I Think

Master Stitch Yoda thinks Goofy Darth Vader is cheating. It's taking all that he has to keep his emotions in check and stop himself from going over to the dark side just to whack Goofy Vader in the head with his walking stick.

View on black or Master Stitch Yoda will whack you with his walking stick

Our Daily Challenge: On The Other Side

Bokeh Thursday: Work It

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Heavy Metal Mater



View on black or I'll play the same song over and over and over again.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Not Everyone Hates Clothes For Christmas

Donald Duck has been wishing for a pair of pants for years. He's tired of hearing how cold it is.

View on black you quack!

112 Pictures In 2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

Lost: The Hunt For Gingerbread Cookies

I was off flying in my plane, the Spruced Goosed, looking for gingerbread cookies when I had engine trouble and had to touchdown on the mysterious island the Land of Misfit Generic Playthings. As I hopped out of the cockpit, I looked around, everything was so huge. As I scanned the horizon, I felt the ground tremble as if a happy grass colored large person was walking across a farm. I turned around and standing in front of me was a 30 foot tall gingerbread man cookie. And thats when I realized, I wasn't lost after all. I was dead and in heaven! (yes my version of heaven has a 30 foot tall Gingerbread man. Don't hate)

View on black or I'll chuck a 10 pound gingerbread man cookie crumb at you

112 pictures in 2012

Sunday, November 25, 2012

hbmike2000 (please see profile)'s photostream

Old Fly Bait, He CroakedOn The Inside Looking OutOne Ugly MotherSometimes A Match Just Wont Do ItI Told You There Was Nothing In ThereHow To Get A Break From Moving
When One Cliche Collides With AnotherLook Sir, MonkeysIt's Petrified You KnowMater The Greater For President!Carburetor County Pin Trading AssociationA Bugs View Of The Cozy Cone Motel
Dead Man's PartyMickey Mouse, You Have A Giant Pumpkin HeadHappy HalloweenThe Real Pumpkin KingPumpkin Queen of HeartsPumpkin Mike Wachowski
Punkin Chunkin:  You Throw Like A Girl!Radiator Springs Curios:  If We're Here, We're OpenAlways Stop To Smell The FlowersThe Film Noir of ToontownMrs Bone Daddy Buys A SombreroSheriff's Old But He's ...

Photos by HBMike2000

Old Fly Bait, He Croaked

Old Fly Bait
He Croaked

Tried to eat a Horse Fly and he choked

Don't feel bad
Don't be stricken

That dumb frog taste just like chicken

View on black or I'll smack you with the a southern fried frog leg.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

On The Inside Looking Out

Tired, worn down, beat, we decided to ride the train around Disneyland. We climbed the stairs of the Main Street station, our knuckles dragging the ground. At the top of the platform, I rolled to the ground, arms spread out, gasping for breath. From the ground next to me, I heard the words 'Want to see if we can ride behind the conductor?' I looked up to the long line in front of us and replied it wont be easy but I was game.

Slowly we got up and approached the end of the line. 'Mom?' I called out, 'Mom??' Not looking at anyone, we made it past the first few people, calling out for our Mom. A few feet further into the line we started getting stares from the other people. Not good stares either. 'MOM?', I called out louder, 'you still alive up there?' but the MOM thing wasn't working anymore. Whispers and glances started to surround us and they were getting louder.

Halfway through the line, I could see the front but the crowd started closing in on us. There was only one thing to do. We threw our hands in the air and with a holler made a run for the front. As we tackled our way passed the first person in line, we collapsed onto the ground once again, a man in a conductor uniform stood above us. I looked back to the line. Bags, goodies, people, children and one old lady lay scattered across the Station platform as a balloon made its escape towards the sky. The conductor looked at me then looked at the old lady laying next to her walker then back at me again. "Can we ride on the back of the Engine?" I asked gleefully.

And this is where I landed when he chucked us off the train platform.

View on black or I'll bowl you over


Thursday, November 22, 2012

One Ugly Mother

Getting to the point, that's ONE ugly mother. No, really. That is the Little Purple Monster's mother and she's pretty hideous.

When he first started to introduce me I made the mistake of saying 'Oh, this must be your father'. The rest of the day was pretty bad after that. She bit me, belched, scratched her rear and farted. And that was just at the dinner table.

After dinner when I asked if everyone was ready for dessert, she ate the cat. It was all good though, she coughed him up an hour later. (Please don't tell PETA, he's fine and I don't want them to sue me two years from now if I become famous and do a show or something)

View on black. See those pointy teeth of hers, they hurt. Just letting you know cause she don't like it when you don't view on black.

Our Daily Challenge: Getting To The Point.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Match Just Wont Do It

I made the mistake of using the restroom AFTER him. As we passed each other in the doorway, he non chalantly said, Light a match. I replied loudly and over dramatically that in this case we probably needed a bon fire.

View on black or I'll hide the matches

Outtake from The Daily Challenge - Order or Orderly back in 2011

I Told You There Was Nothing In There

Don't panic, I ate a mint first. Really, stop saying P U! Fine, someone have another mint?

View on Black or I'll breath on you

This is an outtake taken back in 2011 for a Daily Challenge called Center of Attention.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

How To Get A Break From Moving

1. Get car back after a month in the shop because you decided to have your first car accident of your entire life at the most inconvenient time of your entire life.

2. Have house tented so you don't have to pack (for once, all the gas in the house wasn't me).

3. When your other half asks if you can stay at a hotel next to Disneyland, tell them yes if they can find a place only $20 more a night than a local motel so they'll stop asking.

4. Pick jaw up when other half comes to you and tells you they booked a hotel across the street from Disneyland for only $20 more a night than the local motel.

5. Board pets at Vets for three days so they can get their shots and check ups. (not sure who was more traumatized by this part, the pets or me. If you ask my other half, it was me)

6. The day before your well earned break that you have been looking forward to, get sick. (you betcha)

7. Throw self on to ground and bang hands and feet all the while crying loudly, 'Why me?!?!?' (I threw in a couple of Roll Around On The Ground for good measure)

8. Grab tissue, blow nose, wipe eyes dry, go to Disneyland anyway ( you may want to reverse some of the order of part 8, it was kinda gross, I used same tissue)


View on black or become my designated tissue holder

Saturday, November 17, 2012

When One Cliche Collides With Another

It is a cliche photographers dream nightmare!

View on black or I'll do a cliche spider and cliche portrait of you mash up.